My boys play sports. They have for a long time. We entered the winter sports season this past week after a two-week break. Each night after work I head to the school and pick the boys up to go home. Each day at exactly 2:45 pm “R” calls me at work to ask if he has sports practice. smh.
R: Hi mom, do you think I have wrestling practice today?
Me: yes, R you have it every day, just as you did football a few weeks ago.
R: Yea I know, but I wasn’t sure if they may have changed something, ya know?
Me: No, not really R I am not sure why you would think after years of doing sports every day, that during the season it would suddenly change.
R: Well, they do research on things and I wasn’t sure if it was still good to practice every day.
Me: R… you have practice, make sure you go.
R: Oh yea, I know I talked to coach earlier and he said see you a practice later, so I’ll be there.
Me: then why are you calling me?
R: I don’t know, I think I wanted to tell you something but then I forgot.
Me: okay, have a good practice…
R: thanks Mom, I love you.
Me: I love you too.
That is my 17-year-old who was diagnosed with autism and adhd. God bless that boy he knows what he must do, yet he is always questioning everything he must do.
Now my other son, who also has adhd is very different. He never calls me during work to ask about missed assignments, or the possibility of not having practice He is always on point. BUT… he has excuses most of the time or why he shouldn’t be doing something. i.e., people piss me off at football so maybe I should just quit, or the coach keeps yelling at wrestling and it makes me angry so maybe I should just quit… he needs me to always talk him down and reason things out with him.
However, this all changed last night and this morning.
T called me at work to ask if he could go hang out at the skating rink with friends last night. It is a Friday night so sure, why not? I asked him if he had anything he had to do for school, and said if so, get it done now. I also asked if he had plans for tomorrow (meaning today) and he said, “no and no”. So, a night out, later than usual wouldn’t be an issue.
By the time I got home, both boys were going to the rink and they were having their friends dropped off at the house, so I can play Uber driver and take everyone there. The kids show up, we leave, and all is well. I drop the boys off, I head to the grocery store, I do my weekly shopping, come home, put everything away, and by this time it is now 10:20 pm and I head back to the rink to pick them up and take them home. We get home around 11:30 pm. We are all laughing having a nice end to the night, and that’s when it happened.
T: okay I am going to bed I have practice in the morning at 6:30 am.
Me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? What are you talking about? You said you had nothing going on tomorrow. That’s why I let you stay out late.
T: I forgot, so-and-so reminded me in a text.
Me: Are you kidding me? I get up early every day, I go to bed early every night, so I can get up early every day. And, here we are up past midnight and now you are telling me I must be up at 5:30 am? Seriously??
T: I know, I forgot.
R: OMG, you take advantage of mom. She is tired. She doesn’t need this T.
T: R shut up… you should talk. You never remember anything! So, the one time I forget, and I am being made to feel awful. Thanks a lot.
R: Well, when I have practice, I don’t forget – :/
Me: Do you have practice R?
R: Nope — we are off!
The conversation continued and eventually we all went to bed. I woke up at 5:30 am. I wake up T and off to the school we go. I pull into the parking lot and T says, “Oh great!”
T: Mom, look … Coach D is here and so is V
Me: and?
T: R has wrestling practice!
I walk into the school find the coach and ask… he says, Yes, we have it at ^:30 am today. R was told yesterday afternoon.
So, back home I go to wake up R and get him back to the school for his practice.
I come home wake him up and he acts as though this is the first time he is hearing this news, and then I realize, he has autism/adhd…. to him… it probably is the first time.
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