I have two boys R is 16, he is diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD, T is 13 and he too is diagnosed with ADHD. Living with the two of them has taught me, patience, understanding, craziness, the act of repeating myself 10x over all day, every day, and the best lesson has been Unconditional Love.
I love my sons more than anything in the world.
My first bouncing baby boy has grown to be 16, 6’4″ and 252 lbs! He is carefree, fun-loving, and just lives life in his own world, sailing through as though nothing else is going on around him. He drives me insane almost daily… yet, the love he has inside of him is enormous. His ADHD and anxiety kick in full-force when he knows he has to be somewhere. At 11 am R will come to me and say something like, “Mom, I need to be at so-and-so at 8 pm.” “Okay, R, we’ll be there.” “Thanks Mom.” Then at 2 pm R will come to me and say,
R: “Mom!!! You’re not ready??? I have to go!”
Me: “R, it’s 2:00”
R: “Yea, I know, I’m going to be late!”
Me: “R, you said 8:00 pm, it’s 2:00 pm. It takes 10 mins. to get to so-and-so. We have plenty of time.”
R: “Oh my God, you are going to make me late.”
Me: “R, you have at least 6 hours to get there… do you want to go and just sit in a parking lot for 6 hours???”
R: “Okay, yes, let’s do that so I’m not late.”
Me: “please just go relax.”
Even though, both boys have ADHD it presents very differently between the two of them.
My second bouncing baby boy, is 13, 6′ and weighs 235 lbs. He is very analytical. He holds onto every word you say and takes it literally. He is my lawyer. T wants to be a CIA agent. From a young age, he has always been a handful when trying to discipline him. Not because he was defiant, in fact, he was not. It was due to his being analytical and being able to say things in his defense that made you stop in your tracks. He is a spirited child to say the least. I remember when he was in 2nd grade. I was already divorced and had to work full-time. I’d pick the boys up from afterschool at approximately 6:45 and we would be home by 7:15. I’d make dinner, they would do their homework, we would eat, have a 20 mins. get ready for bed routine, I’d read them stories and off to sleep they would go. One night in January, T decided he did not want to do his 2nd grade homework. Here is how it went:
Me: T dinner is almost ready, please do your homework so we can eat.
T: Mommy I don’t want to do it.
Me: I know, but you have to do it.
T: No mommy we have choices, and I choose no, I am tired.
Me: Well, if you are too tired to do homework you must be too tired to eat so go upstairs and go to sleep.
T: No, I want to eat.
Me: Then you need to do your homework.
T: No mommy, my choice is no.
Me: If you are too tired to do homework, then you are too tired to eat, go upstairs and go to sleep.
T: What? Is this how you treat a 2nd grader? I am an American and I have rights you know!! And .. you are not living by the rules of Dr. Martin Luther King who wanted freedom and equality for all!!!
I knew at this moment T had been listening in class because it was January and only a few days before Martin Luther King Day…
Keep Sparkling ~
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