What does loyalty mean to you? Think about that. How do you define loyalty? Do you consider yourself a loyal person and if you do, when do you say “that’s it” someone crossed a line and your loyalty ends? Is there a time when loyalty ends?
Here is my take on this topic. I consider myself a loyal person. I am not loyal to every person. However, to those I pledge my loyalty to I am very loyal, whether it is family, friends, or a relationship. Once I pledge my loyalty to a person then I am in it and with you for the entire ride.
I believe you can be loyal to more than one person at a time and you can be loyal to two different people who perhaps aren’t on the best of terms or enemies, because loyalty means you are not two-faced, you are always on the up-and-up with the those you are loyal to in your relationships.
When I discuss things it is, because I have experienced something I want to share, or I’m going through something. Right now, I am going through something. This situation I am experiencing is weighing heavy on me too.
I have a friend who has two brothers and a sister in law. My friend and I met in high school and over the years I have befriended her brothers and sister in law. In fact, she was the one that invited me to family parties and holidays to get to know her sister in law and brothers. However, years after being friends with all of them she had a falling out with her brothers and sister in law and expected me to turn my back on all of them since she no longer wanted to talk to them. I don’t roll like that. I am friends with all of them and that is how I will remain. However, I will not betray your friendship, nor will I betray theirs. If someone talks bad about the other, I will stop it and redirect the conversation. If one or the other is wrong in a situation, I will tell you that you’re wrong. In this instance, my friend was wrong, and I told her she was wrong. She was causing drama that was unnecessary. Moreover, she was causing drama and playing the victim to other family members and wasn’t being 100% honest regarding the situation at hand.
In the end, she decided to continue to play the victim while bad mouthing her family members. I do not consider this loyalty. Do you? After all, at the end of the day if you do not have family, what do you have? In this case, she pushed all her family members away. And her actions and words were starting to push me away too. I tried to talk to her about this, but she could see no wrong in how she was acting towards those she claimed to love and care about.
After numerous times of me trying to get her to see that she was not being loyal to her family, and she was the only one doing the bad mouthing for months I finally had it. I told her she is wrong, she is going to lose her family and, in the end, lose her friends too. She was wearing everyone down. People do not want to be caught up in drama, especially family drama. Her expecting me to choose sides is like being in High School all over again and I want no part of that. This was Freshman 101 at its best. She didn’t like my words and stopped talking to me. Was I wrong for being honest? Was I wrong for not choosing sides? Did my loyalty stop, because I wouldn’t choose sides or get involved in the childish act of talking behind the backs of others?
The last straw…. one day I arrived at a location and my friends were there… however, Friend one was sitting on the opposite end of the spectrum from her brother, sister in law, and our other friends. Moreover, when I arrived and saw the brother and sister in law, I didn’t even see where friend one had been at the time. so, I stood there talking to the brother and SIL and other friends. About ten minutes into the conversation I sat down for about 10 mins and was listening to one of the friends telling me a story about her mom who was ill. At that time, she stated, “oh _________ is looking over here.” I asked where “friend one” was sitting and they pointed it out. I immediately got up and said, “I’ll come talk later, I’m going to go sit with her.” I walked over, and she shot me a look that could kill, and then started to berate me in the middle of a crowded area about my loyalty and how dare I sit there talking to those people, but I obviously made my choice…. blah blah blah, and, that was it. I said, enough! I looked at her and said, “good bye friend 1, when you grow up, we can talk.” It was a few days later that she called me while I was at work and left a voice mail. Once again berating me for sitting down to talk to her brother and SIL and said, “you are loyal, just not to me and you are no friend of mine.” We haven’t talked since. I am at a point in my life that I do not deal with pettiness and drama. I cannot dwell in hate. So, does this mean I am not loyal? Or, is there a point that loyalty remains even if you must walk away?I would like to know what you think… what does loyalty mean to you?
Keep Sparkling ~
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