Change Your Mindset 

I am a “what if” person… and drive my kids and myself nuts… my mind is stuck in the caveman days when we were constantly on alert for dinosaurs and sabretooth tigers or else, we could be attacked.  Anxiety comes from a made-up future, not facts.  If we had facts, we wouldn’t be worried about the what-ifs, because it would already be placed in the “happened… now what” category.

I was always worried about “what if” my kids get hurt, “what if” I lose my job… and now I find I’m worrying about “what if” I get sick and I die, who is going to be here for the boys? “What if”, my mom gets sick and I lose her, and we can’t say good-bye and “what if” she must die alone?

All these worries are just that… worries. Worries about what? Nothing! Not one of these things has happened, and if truth be told, they thankfully and most likely will not.  However, the other fact is this, I cannot change or control it from happening no more than I can control getting cancer or being hit by a bus.  Yet, I do not wake up and stay awake most of the night worrying about those things; so why now?

My mind wants to control things it cannot, and it was after many restless and sleepless nights, many days of worrying, and at times crying that I realize this fact.  I realized the more I worried, the more I allowed the mysterious “what if” to take away my present, my future, and my peace of mind.

After realizing I was worrying for no reason because I cannot control what I do not know, I wondered, “what can I do?” Well, the only thing to do is change your mindset.  Stop wasting time worrying about the “what ifs”, that may never come.  Take control of the one thing you can take control of, which is your mind. Control your mind by changing your mindset. 

I started first, by doing something I could control, I turned off the TV.  I turned on my favorite music and I committed to doing this for one week.  After all, we all watch television whether it be the news or a show and neither really change that much in one week.  Every day the news drones on about the same thing.  It is brainwashing and draining.  If I want to change my focus, I need to start by changing the things that are bringing needless worry to my life.  So, the news as turned off.  In its place, I found my favorite playlist and played it softly as I sat down and relaxed.

I realized for as long as I can remember, I always wished I didn’t have to wake up early and rush to work, I wished I could be home to have dinner prepared and on the table for the boys and myself by 5:30 and now, I have the time to do that.  I wished I had time to be with the boys more often and to organize my closets.  I now have the time, all thanks to COVID19.  One wish I have had for a long time was to have my boys know what the world was like when I was growing up.  The slower pace of everything. The neighbors outside talking to each other.  Kids playing rope and hopscotch outside.  Why am I worrying? I realized in an obscure way this virus answered some prayers.

Instead of worrying, I was enjoying the newfound time, I was enjoying the relaxation, and the time spent catching up with friends on the phone and playing games with the boys.  I started dinner one night and the boys came into the kitchen and helped, this hasn’t happened in years. It brought back great memories from when they were little.  We laughed and enjoyed dancing while we cooked.  I noticed kids riding bikes in driveways, walking with their parents around the block after dinner, and yes, they were even in the driveway with chalk drawing and one family was playing hopscotch!

When the week was finished, I turned on the news and started to listen and they were still reporting about not having ventilators or enough tests.  I realized I was right, one week nothing changed in the new world.  I quickly turned off the tv.  I realized I like my life without all the noise.  I turned one-week into two, and by the end of the second week, I had my boys sitting in the living room with me watching old movies together.  We watched Crash, with Sandra Bullock and American Pie another night.  We all took turns choosing a movie and set up a movie playlist and now they want to make Saturday night our permanent family movie night. 

I find now, three weeks into my new routine, I don’t have the patience to listen to the bickering of the news reporters and the constant dread and fear every channel seems to be filled with whether local or cable networks.  I find I am reading more, and that includes old fashioned newspapers which is so much more refreshing than TV news. I also realized I am calmer and happier. I talk to my mom, and I have fun good things to tell her and cheer her up during this tough time. 

I’ve been walking again, and I enjoy seeing the buds turn to leaves or flowers, I enjoy the quiet, peacefulness the world now seems to have embraced like a lost friend. I walk and hear all the different sounds of a varied array of birds about me.   I am settling into this new quiet storm and I am enjoying my simple, peaceful life.  I am enjoying the time this virus has afforded me to spend with my family.  I am enjoying seeing others look relaxed and happy as though we are all on a permanent vacation.

So, if you are feeling a bit uneasy or feeling some anxiety through this whole quarantine, I hope this helps you in some way to realize that while you may not be able to control our current situation, you can control your mind by changing your mindset.

Until next time. . .

Keep Sparkling~