About Me..

Fresh Beginnings…

After I decided to divorce, I sat down and thought to myself, “I don’t know who I am anymore”. I was married when I was 24 years old. For 24 years I lived with my parents, and I was their daughter. Yet, I was an individual, and I knew my likes and dislikes. I was born and given a name and I knew who I was. However, after I was married, that person no longer existed. I now had a new name. I was no longer an individual, my ex-husband would remind me several times a day, that I was now his wife, and I had to do things he wanted to do. I lived walking on egg shells, because at any moment he would start yelling and growing explosively angry. I learned to stop trying to do things I wanted to do and begin doing things that would “make him happy”. It didn’t stop there, I had an overbearing mother in law who insisted things be done her way! I remember after our wedding my mother-in-law came to our home. She opened my linen closet and took all the towels out of it and told me I didn’t fold them correctly. She then showed me the proper way to fold a towel and sat there until I re-folded each towel in my closet the way she instructed me to do.

After 18 years of marriage, I knew what my husband liked, and I knew what my mother-in-law liked, and I knew what his sister liked, but I had no idea what I liked. After a few months of being separated, and moving into my new apartment, I started trying to figure out who I was, and what I liked. I had to dig deep and ask myself some hard questions.

I knew what I used to like and started there, I loved rap music growing up, and realized I still do, that was a great thing. I knew I loved working out at Gold’s Gym, and thrived by doing it and so, I continued for as long as I could. I loved being with my kids, I wasn’t with them because I had to be, I enjoyed my time with these two, crazy, little, beautiful human beings. I loved skateboarding when I was younger, and I had purchased my older son a skateboard when he was three and my younger son one at three as well. So, off we went to the great outdoors, and began skateboarding, and I learned I still loved it and wasn’t too bad at it either. I love to draw and paint. I had majored in majored in Commercial Art and Advertising when I was in High School. I love people, I am a definite people person. And, although I love men, I learned I am very good at picking the wrong men for me!

I would go on dating sites, and meet people, but Lord have mercy, there are a lot of crazy not for me men out there. I’ll write about some of these experiences another time. In the end, after my first year apart from my ex, going through my divorce, I learned a lot about myself.

Here is what I learned:

I am a passionate creature, who lives life up and meets it on my demands. I’m so happy to be alive and to get to experience everything life has to offer – the promise of a new day, every day excites me!

I thrive on people’s energy and believe that we all have something to give one another – it’s just a matter of knowing how to give and receive it all. I’m just as comfortable in a room full of strangers, as in my own company. I’d love to meet people with a passion for life, who have lived real lives and aren’t afraid of jumping right in, rather than walking round the edge. I am true to myself and do that every day… nothing stops me or holds me back from what I want in life… People who are impassioned by what they do and make bold lives out of what they’ve been given are truly amazing to me I thrive for that every day … I’m going to change the world, because I am going to make it a little better, a little sweeter, a bit truer.